Lab Work

On Friday I had to get my lab work done for my endocrine appointment this week. Having gotten lab work done over the last 8 years, I have to say, I’m kind of a pro. No eating after 10pm except for water, correct a low if needed (but then no labs in the morning), and I can show them the best vein to draw blood from. It’s all very routine and I can do it now without feeling queasy almost every time. Like, I said, I’m kind of a pro.

I woke up Friday, got dressed brushed my teeth, and left to get my labs done. Luckily, the place I go to is hidden, never too busy, and across the street from my neighborhood. I planned on being there for a while considering I didn’t go right when they opened, but it was dead. I signed in, gave the gal my new insurance card and took a seat until it was my turn. Within a minute my name was called and I headed to the back. The phlebotomist (I love that word phleb-otom-ist) introduced herself to me and went over my paperwork with me to verify that all the information they had was correct. Afterward, I explained to the gal exactly which vein to draw from, that I would talk to her about anything to take my mind off the needle, and didn’t mean to be rude, but I would be talking at the wall so I wouldn’t see the blood being drained from my arm. She laughed and I explained that I still had issues with needles even though I have had diabetes for almost 8 years. She reassured me and our conversation began to face the wall.

When she was finished taking my blood, she grabbed a cup and handed it to me. I told her I was sorry and didn’t realize this was a pee visit and that I didn’t have to pee. Then I asked if I was allowed to take it home and bring it back like I have done in the past. She handed me the cup and told me when they closed and asked me to bring it back before 4pm. I took the cup from her, and she gave me an explanation on what to do (which always makes me laugh, it’s peeing in a cup, not rocket science) thanked her and began the rest of my day.  

As promised, I brought back my pee before they closed. It has to be the most awkward thing in the world carrying a clear biohazard bag with a cup of pee in it. Not only is it awkward carrying it into the building, it’s even more awkward standing in line, waiting your turn, and turning it in to the receptionist. People stare, and I want to tell them, hey you know you wish you knew they let you do this. How many of you have wasted minutes in the bathroom while someone keeps opening and closing the cabinet where you are suppose to put the cup when you are done, talk about stage fright. But, because I have done this before, I swallowed my pride and just laughed about it after.